Forgiveness – 7/52 Blog 2020

Posted by on Feb 21, 2020 in Blog | 0 comments

Here’s the BLUF – you will be hurt by others.  Tears will be inevitably shed because none of us are alone in this world, even though some of us wished we would be. 

The hurt, pain, heartache, and crying could be from the culprit who directed their intentional misconduct your way.  Let’s agree to label that cruel person a jerk!  Or, from a person with a misguided error who didn’t mean to cause anyone harm, but unfortunately did.  Bless their hearts!  Or, the mishap could have been from a clueless human who just wasn’t aware of their wrongdoings and/or surroundings.  That’s when you try to be like Jesus when He was on the cross.  Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  Luke 23:34

In these three different instances, you have some options on how to move forward, but no matter what forgiveness is the common denominator.  Forgiveness isn’t for them, especially if they didn’t deserve it.  Forgiveness is for you because it releases resentment, bitterness, and pain.  When you release the darkness, you automatically become lighter in body, mind, and spirit. It’s medicine to your soul.    

Let’s talk about forgiving the jerk!  You can definitely forgive them, yet not want anything to do with them.  It’s called self-care for your mental health protection and intellectual and emotional preservation.  These jerks need to understand that forgiveness is for past reconciliation and not for future consideration.  You can treat them like a human being with kindness if you see them, but, in all truth, you don’t have to socialize with them ever again.  You can love them from a distance.  You can accept their apology, if there is one, but understand words are cheap, changed behavior is the result everyone should seek.  Boundaries are real, so create, enforce, and don’t second guess yourself with the things you need to maintain a healthy you. 

For the bless their hearts and the clueless human….their unintentional err was just that – unintentional.  You can choose to hold a grudge, or you can help them not make the same mistake twice.  You can voice your heartache and pray they hear and understand so another person never has to feel how you feel.  Your decision to help them when they don’t deserve it is called grace.  If more people extended grace, there would be less resentment and revenge in the world.  After grace is extended, you can decide how you want to proceed.  Give them a second chance to turn their wrong into right, hold them at arm’s length, or decide to not put yourself into another opportunity to be inadvertently hurt. What a precarious position!  Only you can decide which way to go, so don’t allow anyone to force you into doing something that you don’t want to do, or you’re not ready to do. This is your life, no one else’s. 

Like all of you, I’ve been intentionally hurt, betrayed, lied about, taken advantage of, and talked about in a bad light.  Some by those I Loved. Trusted.  Needed.  Believed in. And, none of them deserved forgiveness, but bitterness and hate are qualities I don’t want to energize me.  I choose love.  To let go.  Overcome.  Peace.  Kindness. Spending time on things that matter.  Surrounding myself with people of quality.  I choose to forgive…because I am forgiven.  You can do it too!

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